A little bit of selfish works

I miss the fact that i used to do more with my time than just study. I used to paint, swim, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Not saying that i'm not doing anything but its not as much as i would have liked to do. If there's a lesson i learned in this past year it's to not relay on anyone. pessimistic? no, just being realistic. With my friends i used to get such high hopes because it would always be "Omg! lets do this" "We're definitely going to get this done" but then "this" never happened. Not that they don't have dreams, they do, amazing dreams! But they're just that, dreams. So plan is this coming semester (inshallah) is to do what I want. Not what somebody else wants. Not to wait for somebody else to come along and support me, i need to support myself. As inspirational as it is putting a goal and saying i need to get this done, it isn't realistic. I need to work on a checkpoint where i see how far I've reached and if i'm still on track. So as silly as it sounds I'm going to start off with a new look for a new year and new resolutions. cheers!

                                  My friends told me they'll break my neck if i cut my hair like that but i def. love this look. 

Totally Awkward moments

Some guy just had to propose to me

not once but twice.
If it wasn't awkward enough getting the what do you think talk from my mom, i got it from my lovely dad.

I know my parents were against it, like not even considering it because the guy was like in his 30's eek! so the last couple of days went something along the lines of

Dad to Brother: so you ate out? where at?
Brother: Umm Hobbes* food place
Dad: Whatt!!! Why didn't you go to Aristotle's* food place ( looks at mee and bursts out laughing)
Me: Horrified look on face
Mom: chuckles
Brother: What's going on? WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING AND WHY IS SHE DIGGING HER FINGERNAILS IN MY ARM!

this went on several times, and then yesterday my dad comes in my room and goes
"OK seriously though i know i've said no but i didn't take your opinion. He's a good guy so what do you th-."

Me: are you kidding me right now? NO NO i already said no.
Dad: OK maybe you don't want to tell me
Me: WHAT!! No, like my answer is not going to change. I can't believe you. Are you trying to get rid of me??
Dad to Mom: I don't know what to make of this. How did you react when i proposed to you
Mom: Propose again and we'll see
Me: OK cute and all but are we done here
Dad: well i just didn't want to not be doing by what the prophet says, he's a good guy and i have to get your opinion. All i want is your happiness and a guy who will take your hand to heaven.
Me: OK well conversation over daddio



* Names have been changed, there are no Hobbes and Aristotle lest you started thinking you knew them.


So after this weekend i truly need me some shopping therapy or any type really, that would work fine.

                            

As another year passes by

 The end of the year just sneaked up on me! Seriously, all of a sudden it's December and before you know it, it's the year after. I was looking back and seeing if i had achieved anything this year or if i had done anything worth noting and well i did get one of my things on the list of 70 achieved.

9. Donate blood. 


I actually reached the 110 pounds mark to be able to donate blood.wooot!

Even though I'm proud to say that i have finally donated blood, i have done so much more this  last year. I have met people who i can say without hesitation, have changed my life. People that i am blessed to have known. Events that forever i will remember...and smile. I wish i could go and thank everyone of them for being part of my life.

So Thank You God for letting me live another year to meet those amazing people.

Thank You for the knowledge that i have gained.

Thank You for my family and friends

Thank you for my health.

Thank you for letting me look at nature and feel unbound love for it.

Thank you for the laughing, the crying and the confusion

because if anything, it was an indication that i was thinking

and nothing could be greater than thinking, thinking, and knowing

Thank you for the long nights i spent studying

They are the proof that i am able to get an education.

Thank you for the opportunities, for the moments of contemplation

For this heart that keeps beating, living, and loving.

I am truly grateful


<3 Me




                        

At ease

 Everything was the same as she left it, it was as if no time had passed at all. She felt that she could pick up from the moment she left off and everything would be as is. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing extra-special. Everything was the same except that the change of seasons was the indication that it wasn't. The cold chill air in the morning and the bare-naked trees bathed in a violent orange made her  feel at home. Home sweet home.



 
                 

Reminders to my soul

“You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.”

That is all!

I, the infidel

Why do people feel that it's their duty to pass judgment on other humans eternal abode. seriously, i think religion is a sensitive enough topic as it is for others to go and pass their judgement on you and why you are oh so wrong.  There's a difference between a discussion with intellect and just trying to prove me wrong through any way possible. Have you so secured your position in heaven to find the time to look down on others? Is that it? Oh do tell me more on my position in hell while i pretend to listen and give you some smiles followed by "sounds good" every once in a while. I get it that fear plays a big part of it, the need to justify my religions correctness by having all others as wrong but do you need to shove it down my throat. I'm not even talking about a different religion, what's that? yea you've heard correctly, just a different sect. If i may give some advise oh dear sir/ ma'am, do get your information straight before you come at me with your pointed finger and swear words from behind the computer screen. Otherwise, you just play the fool!

ambiguously writing

I feel so ashamed that this year is almost over and here i am with only 40 something posts compared to last years a 100 and something. It isn't that I'm any busier than before, because I'm not. Although i do have new stuff going on. I'm not sure if it's the stuff i want to share with the whole wide web. I'm not sure where it is i draw the line anymore of things i post and things i don't. I know it isn't many people that actually do read this and anyways it's more for my own record than anything else but then when it's not serving that purpose anymore then what's the point? I'd hate to see myself quit writing though, I've quit with the poems and stories as it is, it's sort of like this is my last link with my love for writing. so i shall keep on writing.

One thing that i have recently done was sign up to be a part of the group that leaves for Gaza from Canada in the coming spring, I'm praying praying praying that i get chosen. I'm hoping that if i do get chosen my parents will just have to face reality and let me go. we will see.
My local Amnesty International group and I are raising money to try and help in any possible way that we can in pushing the project forward. It excites me that I'm taking part in this, even if it's a small one.

moments ago i was working on an essay and currently what i have here is more than i have written for my essay. i should return back to what i was doing.



Peace and smiles :)

It's a Conspiracy!

So as i got to listen to my cousins overseas talk about all the great stuff they would be doing on Eid, i did an internal frown. When they asked what i would be doing, I gave out a fake laugh while saying "giving a presentation at school. "

It just so happened that the week which Eid fell on was my busiest week of school yet. 3 papers and a presentation, lovely.

I did have my Eid though on the night before Eid, if that makes any sense. hmmm

A couple of friends and myself came together on Eid Eve? and since we were fasting we decided, hey lets cook and eat together. which we did. The cooking took all day, i cut my middle finger wide open, and we kept on finding out we were missing some kitchen utensials, asked a random girl in the apartment building if she had it and had to wait nearly 20 minutes after Maghrib to actually start eating since the food wasn't done. But, we did have the most epic game of truth or dare! The sort where your friend is forced to run around screaming at the top of her lungs that her stupid husband ran away. The kind in which your friend has to knock on some random persons door and sing them "twinkle, twinkle little star. " or where they knock on another persons' door asking if they can wash their dishes. That day pretty much made up for having to sit down and write papers on the day of Eid.

I also still think that it's a conspiracy, they so did it on purpose, making me miss Eid like that.

Chicken anyone? 

what did you do on Eid? 

Waking up in the morning feeling like...

Waking up in the morning feeling like.... a giant bruise.
So the other day i started taking a womans' self-defense class, and I'm so glad i did.
It's such an empowering feeling, not to mention every woman should know what to do if put in an unpleasant situation.

Yeaaaa, it's true that when your in a given situation where you need to defend yourself things never play out like when you studied them or practiced them, but at least you'll have some tools to work with, and that counts.

So starting the class, it made me realize how much i need to exercise. I stretched my bodies in ways i never knew possible, and it's painful in joints that i never knew could hurt.

An interesting experience.

I was surprised though, when speaking to some of my friends they just laughed. For the guys it went something along the lines of " there are guys to protect you, why do you need that for anyways." " when you're in that situation all you're going to be able to do is scream." which just made me roll my eyes. To me what was even more surprising  was when the girls said they don't need it cause they "have a whistle!!!"

So I'll definitely be continuing these classes. Maybe start a martial arts course.

wooooot body bruises here i come.

dreams

I love the fact that one little thing that you succeed in and didn't expect to can motivate you to do so much more. 


I absolutely LOVE it! 


It just goes to show you that it's all in your mind, what you can and can't do. 
Just the other day someone told me, that to make your dreams come true you need to wake up first. 
How true is that. 

I love falll!

ahhh smells so freshh!!! um that's the sewers.

I wish we could capture smells the way we capture pictures.
you know, if we could pull em up whenever we want and take a whif.

Ahh life would be so much easier. I think i learned somewhere before that the strongest link with memory is the sense of smell. Tell me about it!
 
I miss Egypt so much to the extent that when i go down this street near university campus with all the restaurants and food vendors the aromas overwhelms me and my mind just turns into time-warp back to Egypt.

If I'm walking and i get a whif of the sewers you can bet you that i'm gonna start missing Egypt ( My mom just told that this is rude to say, and will insult Egyptians... really though if it insults them, who are they kidding! we all know what Cairo smells like.)

The short of the story is...I want to go to Egypt!

The End.

Excited about riding the bus...Omg don't call me lame

Riding the bus for the first time, so I'm sitting here, kind of nervous. I know it's only the bus, but I'm still excited. 
Although I'm starting to think maybe its not a good idea anymore. maybe right now was not the best time. Who tries out the bus for their first time on a Sunday night and on the last running bus for the day? getting lost at night, well i guess it could be an adventure. Haha. Not. 
I hope my phone is charged and for the record, I'm wearing some very uncomfortable flip-flops. I better get home tonight all in one piece, just so i don't have to listen to my mom say " I told you so." but then again if i don't come home all in one piece I really don't think my mom will be doing in rubbing in my face, cause that's just not nice. 
 So I'm sitting here at the bus stop, it's been a while i thought the bus would come earlier but i don't mind much. I get to see the sun set and with the fall leaves, It's beautiful. Haven't had time to do that in a while. 
so here comes the bus

Wish me luck!

Pink is the new...Pink!

I had so much to write about, all these posts that were on my mind, but i had mid-terms and after i was done....i pretty  much forgot what it was i wanted to write about hmmmm. Isn't it weird how during mid-terms we have all these things we want to do, i kid you not, i get urges to clean my room and clean the house! I know it's crazy!

so today was Pink Hijab Day since its Breast Cancer Awareness month. My professor actually after class came up to me and asked if it was pink hijab day since i was wearing a pink hijab. I got overly excited :p

so who wore a pink Hijab?

Dear Political Thinkers Professor, I hate you!

You thought you were so cool, handing us that one sheet of paper, giving us hope that maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all, only to see the instructions saying to write an essay for each of the posed questions.

3 Hours.

On butt-numbing seats. You are so cruel.
I hate you.

Those questions weren't any questions. I fail to see how they even related to the course.
yes, I recognized the Name of Marx, Hobbes, Rousseau, Machiavelli, and Nietzsche in there. That was about all i recognized.

When you told us to make sure we knew how to spell these political thinkers' names, it made me feel that maybe this was a significant tip for the exam, and i took it to heart. oh and did i.

You were there each class at 8:30 in the freakin morning, with your too perky smile and excitement for such a time. and you would talk about Machiavelli like he was your homeboy.

 I totally get that it is necessary for a leader to totally crush their enemy, and that a viper crushed beneath your foot but left alive, will rear up and bite you with a double dose of venom. Machiavelli was the shiznet.

I almost felt a bond with Rousseau when he spoke of the evils of  theater and the mixing of men and women, i almost felt like it was my parents yelling at me, you know.

Marx totally urged me to go and revolution it up in Egypt, Nietzsche cracked me up with his statements of humans being their own God. Cause cotton candy was no human invention. It was purely the work of miracles, angels and all things Godly.

Despite all that, and more you decided to torture us with your nearing on gibberish exam. I came out of there with nightmares. I was scarred for life! It was worse than being made to eat your vegetables while sugarcoating it with mustard. Lots worse.



Love,

Your now-corrupted-ex-student

To the people who won't and don't care to understand other people

Being born into a religion isn't a leap of faith. Mind you i don't think it's much faith at all. Don't get me wrong, i consider myself lucky to be born a Muslim but that's my big ego talking. It's not something that i had a hand in, just like my race, color and gender. On the other hand, searching within your religion and other religions is a leap of faith. Doing so objectively is pure craziness, but such a mind opening one. I know we're living in a time where nothing is considered purely black or white, where everything is relative. yet people are still acting with the mindset of, " I can't help them, they're going to hell anyways." People use religion to justify their actions when it's purely their close-mindedness speaking.  then they turn around and call everyone else close-minded for not being accommodating of their religious beliefs. I'm in no way pointing fingers at anyone or religion in particular. Most religions are guilty of doing this. so can we, as they say, take a leap of faith and start seeing the relativism with which other people live their lives.

On marriage, age and acting my shoe size

Bonjour, ca va?

End of French.

so here i am, nothing too interesting really. Just school, catching up with friends that i haven't seen all summer and not to mention congratulating all the friends that got either married or engaged. It's crazy, I"m used to having friends and thinking of ourselves as kids, teens but now It's the stage where my friends are getting married, my circle of people! It's really hard to explain and I'm not sure how i feel about it. I don't think i like it too much. It's not that I'm not happy for them, contrarily I'm ecstatic, but now it's different, we're not kids anymore. We're adults. Adults. I don't like the taste of that word in my mouth. It comes with obligations, responsibilities, loss of innocence, lack of fun. It forces me to change my mindset from the kid i still think i am at times to a person who has commitments. Am i being too dark here? Maybe it's because I'd rather act my shoe size and not my age.

despite all that, here's to all the beautiful and strong ladies in my life, may it be a marriage full of bliss and many adventures <3

gimme your stuff

So i just randomly stumbled upon this blog called gimme your stuff. The basic idea of it is to list some stuff that you'de be willing to give to a person from a different country that shows the culture and what not of your country, in exchange of  stuff they're offering from their country. it could be anything the both of you decide on, like magazines, clothes, jewelery, candy, food, stickers, snacks, whatever, you name it. I've totally fell in love with the idea and can't wait to try it out.

Stuff i can send from Canada:

- Magazines...people, vogue, etc.
- Snacks!!!! so much candy..everywhere
- Postcards, key chains, something that says CANADA...literally :p
- jewelery, shoes, certain clothing items.

if there's something in particular that you're looking for as well.

I'de probably ike to receive

- souvenirs ( key rings, post cards, etc. )
- clothing style items known for that country
- posters
- candy, food from that part of the world
- surprise!

soooo if anyone is interested, leave a comment below and we shall work it out.

What do you do on Eid?

P.S : Can you tell that there are a lot of Paki/Indian people in this community? lol

one, two, back to school

ahhh wow, it's crazy how time flys by so fast. Ramadan's over, Eid's over and school is starting...well actually started. Alhmdllah this summer was satisfying, interesting, and who can forget the awkward moments. I've been so busy these past couple of days that i didn't have time to go online so happy belated Eid!.
I know as crazy as it might sound I'm looking forward to starting this school year. so here's to making this year an adventurous one, full of interesting events.

Children left unattended will be given a free puppy and caffine to go along with it.

                                     Can you tell that they love kids in this Masjid here? :p

My one day adoption

So the other day we were driving along the road when as calm as could be we see a turtle crossing...
y'all it was being very precautious, it looked left and right like 5 times, except that it was in the middle of the street. too precautious maybe
we stopped and picked the little fellow up, and i decided to adopt him.
i named him Franklin.
Franklin and i had such a good time, oh the memories that we made. They bring tears to my eyes.
I tried feeding him lettuce but Franklin was too shy
He sat in his box and after pleading with him to eat something he eventually peaked his head out of his shell.
and then we had a blast and bonded and stuff.
At the end of the day, like all mother do, i eventually had to let go of Franklin.
He now roams somewhere in the woods behind our backyard

Franklin dear, you shall be missed

                                                                    Shy Franklin

Franklin with the rest of the family

Franklin heading out on his own.

P.S Franklin might have been a girl.

Soul Seeker

It amazes me that at the height of such a holy month as Ramadan for Muslims, you have people who could care less to take advantage of it. You find people fighting in front of the Masjid while "fasting". Throwing plates and plates of food in the garbage, missing prayer and gossiping like there is no tomorrow. It has become all about the food, the different types and how much of it to make in order to impress the guests. Like many holidays in different religions that in the start were about purifying one's soul, it has turned into a commercialized one.

For me it only makes sense that having an opportunity to feed and grow your soul, one would do so. Just as we take time to feed our bodies, minds, and other human desires, the soul needs to be nurtured as well, more so than anything. Instead of using our bodies as just vehicles and shells to grow and care for our souls, we have instead suppressed them and taken every precaution to take care of our outwardly appearance, and at times I'm just as guilty.



It's like simple math. Except for some, 2+2 doesn't always add to 4.

May we all find our inner peace and attain serenity



 

What is our own

What is our own?

Can we in this day and age or in any day and age for the matter, claim to have ideas that are ours and ours alone?

Is there really such a thing as "Unique"

our ideas and minds are a scramble mix of media, newspapers, books and t.v

not to mention the main role of family ideals, culture that one is raised in, and taboos.

and how could we forget the role that friends play in molding us into who we are.

As to one of the biggest players, Religion and school.

In all of this, the question I would like to raise my fellow Internet users is

Are we really that much different from each other?

Girls don't sweat, they glow!

So this was a conversation between my sister and one of her friends

Sister: Guys are disgustiing

friend: why? because we sweat?

Sister: What! no, girls sweat too

Friend: Girls don't sweat!

Sister: ummm yes they do

Friend: Girls glow, they don't sweat

His sisters have taught him well

The have to Ramadan post

Who else is excite that Ramadan is here...almost!!!!
I swear it feels like time flew by since last Ramadan. I def. love the spiritual high that comes with it, gatherings at the masjid, and the Qiyams of staying up all night.

 this reminded me of last year when at the masjid there was a qiyam on the night of the 27th, so of course the masjid was full of people. Being used to taking a few moments outside alone just to get the full effect of the serenity of that night,  i did so, only to have people come up to me every few seconds to ask " are you fine?" wait "are you SUREEE you're OK?"
"like, really!"
really

I wanted to yell out " PEOPLE!!! seriously i only wanted to make dua"

except that yelling at people and telling them to get back inside wouldn't have been exactly going with the spirit of things.

رمضان جانا

I wish i was in Egypt for Ramadan!

Ramadan Kareem Ya'll

One Japanese husband to go please!

My Birthday's approaching in a couple of days and let me tell you my little brother is far too worried about it more than i am. He thinks that because my mom got married at 20 that means every other person who turns 20 has to get married!! The other day i had the following conversation with him.

LB: so what are you gonna do on your 20th birthday?
Me: ummmm...
LB: are you gonna get married?
Me: huh?
LB: do you want me to build you a house?
Me: no thanks, i'm gonna live in a box
LB: but how are you gonna live with the person you're moving away with
Me: I'm still here!

he leaves for a while then comes back,

LB: didn't you say you loved Sushi?
Me: yea
LB: so you can marry a Japanese guy and he can make u Sushi!

 Good thinking kiddo, Japan and sushi here i come!

Camping while Egyptian part 2

"Ok, so tents go here and here" I say making two marks on the ground.
"Also we better hurry" i say glancing up at the sky, "looks like it’s gonna rain"

My brother takes hold of the bigger tent and goes on to setting it up, while my sister and I pick the other one, pull it out and stand there looking at it.

"I have no idea how to set this up!!" I say looking at the tangled mess.

After what seemed hours of struggling, we finally made what seemed to resemble a blob.

“K, so wanna head to the beach for a while?" my sister asks

We head over the sand dunes and to the most spectacular view. Best of all we had the whole beach to ourselves.

I took a chair, plopped it into the sand and extended my feet into the icy cold water.
We sat there with lightning and thunder in the background, trying to calculate how far off it was.

Now that I think about it, it was probably a not so good idea being wet holding metal fishing poles with lightning in the sky, despite the attractiveness of the combination.

When it started to rain we decided to get back to the tent before we got seriously wet ( only reason was, I didn't want to break my record of not taking showers for the longest time possible...i kid, i promise)

The thunderstorm was like a faucet that would not shut off, best of all one of our tents was not waterproof, so all of us were stuck in the other tent. We called it family bonding time and we did what any other Egyptian family would have done. Played cards!

As we fell asleep, my mom asked from her corner of the tent, “Did anyone actually check the weather?"
Ah small details, they get me every time.

storm approaching

sand dunes

setting up the tent

Chai and fooul( beans)

their catch

<3

Painting Walls at 4:00 A.M

So yesterday I had a friend who wanted to paint her basement, so my sister and i volunteered to help, considering we're such experts we should be awarded the label of interior designers. Our experience goes as far back as painting the Masjid walls, oh and did i mention the Masjid walls?

So anyways, we head over LOWE'S to pick out the colors and that alone took like 40 minutes.

My friend and I wanted to go with a reddish color

her mom was like, over my dead body!

She showed us a light yellow and we told her she might as well tear down the basement.

Finally, we decided on a light pearly pink and a maroonish color and to work it was.
Since it was getting so late we decided to sleepover and pretty much spent the next few hours telling scary stories about jinn and listening to my friend’s mom telling us stories of things she saw with her own eyes when she lived back in Pakistan.
I don't know about others but jinn stories beat Zombie takeovers, Alien attacks, and sparkly vampires combined.

ya'll, my stories wander all over the place but I promise painting the basement and Jinn stories actually ties up

SO anyways my friend’s mom decides to go get some sleep and after a while we decide that we're gonna go and work on the basement since we weren't tired.

In the morning my Friend's mom wakes up and goes to check the basement to see if the colors coordinated and finds a finished wall! She almost got a heart attack thinking some Jinn were in the basement working on the walls in the middle of the night.

Although if you ask me I wouldn't mind pair of handy Djinn like that.I know the house could use some help.

Camping while Egyptian part 1

" Yalla omo wghzo ray7een camping, 7gtkom tekon gahza fe nos sa3a*"

ahh lovely way to wake up. Saba7 elnoor to you too Mama.

seriously, only in my family does a camping trip get decided like that and we get half an hour to get ready? the generosity!

I was not complaining.

" mama where to?"
"ma3rfsh, your father didn't tell me anything"

ok, guess that's fine too.

An hour later my dad comes home and we start listing stuff we might have forgotten.

tent? check.
sleeping bags? yep, got them
lantern? mhm
everyone have their clothes, toothbrushes, and shoes? yeaa

and then the unfortunate happens, we move onto the kitchen. and true to being Egyptian they start packing half the kitchen. Enough to last us the next two month.

"Do we really need the 3 pans? and Omg, mama all this Fooul!! we're only staying like two days"

we were just a 7alet ma7shy* away from being true to our roots of Egyptianese

well, i told myself,If we happen to get lost at least we'll be able to survive.

My dad looked at the time.you guys, looks like we're going to have to head out tommorow, what do you think?

rolling Arab standard time, i think we're pretty accurate.



* get up and get ready, we're going camping
* 7alet ma7shy- An Egyptian dish

way too many exclamation points!!!!!

Sometimes i get those dreams that stick in my mind, purely because of how weird they are.

So the other day i was reading about King Henry VIII. That same day i was thinking about one of my friends for some reason or another.

That night i had a dream that she was trying to marry King Henry VIII!! seriously the things i dream of.

I should start a dream journal, make it into a book and become rich!!!


sounds like an awesome plan? ya i thought so too.

Excuse me while i go dream some more dreams for my book. This is serious work.

My List of 70 Random things to do

I've always at one point or another come up with something that i wish to achieve before i die, or something that i've heard another person has done and since it was so awesomly awesome, i thought to myself " I HAVE TO DO THAT!"

It came to a point where i was like " i should just probably write down my list" so here it is

1. Graduate from university
2. become a lawyer
3. work for human rights
4. learn a martial arts
5. scream at the top of my lungs
6. skinny dip
7. go skydiving
8. bunji Jump
9. donate blood
10. run a marathon
11. write a novel
12. open a (successful) boutique
13. swim 500 yards in under 6 minutes
14. get my nose pierced
15. sleep under the stars
16. teach English in South Korea
17. find the roots of my family tree
18. Visit Japan
19. backpack through Europe
20. ride a horse in the middle of the night
21. Ride a camel around the pyramids in the middle of the night
22. camp in the Sahara desert
23. raft through the grand canyon
24. get closer to my dad
25. shower in a waterfall
26. visit Greece and Turkey
27. feed birds in Italy
28. send a message in a bottle
29. get an answer
30. plant a tree
31. fall in love
32. Marry the person I fall in love with
33. pray fajr on a beach somewhere
34. Stay out all night at a beach and build a bonfire
35. help build a house for battered women in Egypt
36. sponsor an orphan
37. Spend three months getting my body into optimum shape
38. Visit the holy land
39. learn a new language
40. learn how to make sushi
41. scuba dive in the red sea
42. Go white water rafting
43. Ride an elephant through the jungles of Thailand
44. get a job that I love
45. Ride in a gondola down the Grand Canal in Venice.
46. run for student council and have fun doing it
47. Stand on the Great Wall of china
48. learn how to surf!
49. go yak skiing
50. write an article for a major publication
51. get on the cover of a magazine
52. participate in poetry slam
53. live like a local for month
54. visit Niagara falls
55. people watch in central park
56. travel anywhere with a friend
57. ride a boat down the Nile
58. pay the toll for the person behind me
59. partake in a Japanese tea ceremony
60. visit the Prophets grave
61. drink an espresso at the chansa` le zait
62. swim in the dead sea
63. get all As in a given semester
64. make an impact on someone’s life
65. take part in the world’s biggest water fight during Thailand’s New Year’s festivities
66. Bike the Pacific Coast Highway.
67. memorize the Quran and learn its tafseer
68. milk a cow
69. make hajj inshallah
70. be at peace with myself

And i hope there's a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow!

This Summer was not what it was set out to be but i'm not complaining.

Started out visiting my dad and found him getting ready to move from his apartment. Seriously how much stuff do you need when your only two people in an apartment! The place was full of stuff that for lack of better words, had no use.

when i say my dad and brother can open a fishing equipment shop with all the stuff they've collected that would be an understatement.

During all that, I started teaching Arabic and Qur'an at their Masjid here. This is probably one of the most patience trying yet satisfying things to do. At times you'll have to repeat a verse 50844 times( slight exaggeration...maybe) before the kid gets it. Once they do though, and recite the whole surah back to you it feels good to know that you've helped them memorize a surah they're gonna be praying with the rest of their lives.

I figured i should also step up my religious game a bit and read Islamic books. I started from square one, Islam in general. What it means to be Muslim, and not just Sunni. I began reading into Shia, Sunni, and Sufi theology. It was interesting to say the least. I’ve read the generals but I wanted to go into historical depth. Then it became too many books to keep up with so I figured if a book should take precedence it should be the Qur'an. So Qur'an understanding and memorization it is.

Then during all that, I realized that "oh hey, I'm planning to go to law school. I need to take the LSAT exam for that". Yea, so I’m cracking open the books.

hmmmm, lets see what else.

I promised myself that i would try being healthier, and i swear its not easy! I don't know how my sister eats so much fruits. Seriously, like that has to be unhealthy or something. forget eating 5 fruits or vegetables a day. I'm trying to get it to 2 first! and running a mile everyday.

ummm, we'll see how far that goes.

Yep. so thats life.

I'm not much on the blogger scene anymore.
I barely get an internet connection as it is.


Happy 2nd day of summer Ya'll

<3

lets give it a C-A-R-R-O-T!!! whats that spellll! umm.....apple?

The other day we were driving a 12 hour drive to Virginia. To pass time i decided to play a game of I spy with my siblings, when it came to my little sisters turn it went something like this.


Little Sister: I spy something green!

Me: That tree.

Brother: that other tree

sister: Your shirt

Little Brother: her pillow ( pointing at my blanket)

Little Sister: No, NO you guys let me give you guys a hint. It starts with K

Brother: ummmm

Me: (Jokingly) Mama's eyes.

Little sister: YAAAA!! you win!!

Me: :S that doesn't start with K

Little Sister: Yah? but its greeeen!

No one can blame me for my spelling and grammatical errors. It's in my genes!

checking in

Alive and thus thankful.

black with white stripes that must be a...how the heck did you think Zebra!

I saw it when I was trying to find a way to sneak out my window

I know, i  know i sound all rebellious trying to sneak out of a window

but actually all i was trying to do was see if there was a way i could go sit on the porch and watch the stars w/o actually opening the door because that would have made too much noise and everyone was sleeping.

it all sounded perfect in my head


so there i was at my window trying to figure out a way, when i thought i glimpsed something on the porch. Since I'm totally blind (even with my contacts in) it took me a while to adjust.

Lo and behold, 10 minutes of blinking later...it was a SKUNK! I was so darn excited, i wanted to whip out my camera and flash it at the skunk. I'm not sure my mom would appreciate the smell tomorrow morning though.

I'm not sure why exactly i think people would want to see a skunk eating the cats' leftovers on the porch but heck that seemed exciting to me.

Green as a red pepper

St. Patricks day, people really get into it around here. I snapped this picture on campus; some of the many wearing green that day. He just went all out though :D

I think yellow and purple go together just fineee

I think i'm the cooking genius of my days!
problem is, my family doesn't agree.
and then i end up having to eat all my little experiments or "messes" as they like to call them.

I'm pretty sure it's just their jealousy speaking though!

The only reason i can't eat alll the food i make is because i don't want to be one of those stereotypical fat cooks like you see on T.V. know what i'm saying?

really, it's true.

ok well i have to go make the rice for dinner, now where were those bananas...

also the post title has nothing whatsoever to do with the topic

The happiest of all lives is a busy solitude. ~Voltaire

What is it about being alone that makes people feel insecure?
As for myself i thoroughly enjoy that alone time, maybe it has something to do with my overprotective parents or the fact that its hard to find my alone time. I have no trouble taking walks alone, eating alone, just sitting and doing absolutely nothing...alone!
Many a time i would be there sitting by myself when friends would come along and tell me "come sit with me, don't sit alone!"
Sitting alone you can actually hear yourself, that voice in your head that speaks to you. It's where you can come up with your most brilliant ideas.
I guess not many people enjoy that though, talking to yourself does seem a little loony, in my book that's genius though!
Don't get me wrong I enjoy being with my friends just as much but people should try enjoying the atmosphere of being by ones self every once in a while.

A Midsummers Momment

Throwing my flip flops to the side i sat on the swing and dug my toes into the dirt beneath my feet.
i pushed back as far as i could get, swinging back and forth i remembered the days when swinging on the swings meant long conversations.
It was where important decisions were made, and friendships renewed.
It was the reconnection with nature as your legs tried touching the trees,the breeze tickled your face, and the sunshine danced around your shoulders.
It was there that Rainbows were watched after long rain showers, making the smiles creep slowly on your face.
Where when you were overwhelmed it was just easy to swing it all away.
Where screams echoed on who could jump the furthest.
where you believed that swinging high enough maybe you could touch the clouds.
It was on the swings that i started my summer.

<3

“We change, whether we like it or not” ~RWE

drenched drowning suffocation
holding it in
unable to any longer
confusion distress asphyxiation
breathing as if on a Crucifixion
the pain extends beyond comprehension
a wildfire through the heart
a battlefield, oh where to start
endings are only the beginnings
as we fall
we reach for those to pick us up
amid the rubble
within the sands
perils of time
leaving behind traces
some here, others there
standing up
dusting off
the shreds of glass
we stand, smile, and
gladly embrace the
change.

Like, i'm like speech impaired!

Its funny how little things when pointed out can become so noticable.

The other day a friend pointed out that the group of guys with beards in the Uni kept stroking it throughout the last couple of hours. I thought it was just bluff!

so here i was today, sitting, minding my own business, when i notice the same group of guys with beards, stroking them.

i was probably sitting there for at least 3 hours and every time i glanced over THEY WERE STROKING THEIR BEARDS!

I'm guilty to say that this cracked me up.

I don't think they intentionally did that, i probably do stuff that i barely notice as well.

I say "like" a lot, someone pointed out that one time and it seemed that that was the only word i said in my sentences. like for real!

Enemy lines.

Silence was the key.
I moved discreetly behind the tall shelves, my heart pounding as i did so.
looking left and right, i got ready to make my move. The weapon in my hand froze my fingers. A giggle escaped my throat because of the anticipation.

I walked stealthily, sneaking up on my victim, who was also in position. He thought he was ready, but next to my stealthy abilities, he had no chance.

BAM! went my perfectly created weapon, hitting his back with full force.

" you kids, vat you think you're doing throwing snowballs in the masjid!"

"crap"

we stood for a minute, like deer in the face of headlights then we made our escape. Each scattering in a different direction, but not before the message went around.

SNOWBALL FIGHT AFTER ISHA!!

How much do i love thee... let me count the ways

A snippet from our conversations.

" I love chicken like Romeo's love for Juliet"

" I love chicken as much as an anorexic girl hates food"

" Anorexic girls don't hate food! they just don't like to eat."

"what! that made no sense. you lose"

" OK, I love chicken as much as Israel hates Palestine"

" well... I love chicken as much as a bulimic girl likes to throw up"

"I'm not even sure they like doing that, they just don't want to get fat"

" that's besides the point, i love chicken!"

" wow are you guys still talking about chicken?"

What if...

I took a deep breath and dived into the icy cold water. first thing to pop in my mind, " i should have take a shower first, this water is freezing!" i came up for air and noticed all eyes on me, It didn't help much knowing that i was the only girl trying out for the swim competitions, and in a boys only school. the joy! In a moments decision i decided that i would swim the whole way with only that first gulp of air i took. It would be no big feat, I've done it several times during competitions and that was how i won. I started my strokes, and kept a mental checklist going. right hand, left. feet, working! i kept my strokes at an even pace, until halfway through i decided that i probably should hurry up if i wanted to keep up with my " no coming up for air" thing.

right hand, left, right hand, left.
wall.
finally, i never thought this pool would end.

I took in all the air i could and reached for the nearest towel handed to me.
my gym couch patted me on the back and whispered to me to hurry up and get dressed.
i ran to the guys locker room, and that was probably my best record at taking a shower and getting dressed. it was awkward enough being the only girl trying out in an all boys school, i could imagine how awkward it would be getting caught being in the guy's locker room. i got done, opened the door, looked around and sneaked out of there and ran to sit on the benches. i waited for my coach in anticipation and smiled when i saw her approaching...until i saw the look of disappointment on her face. i raised my eyebrows at her questioningly, " you should have come up for air!" was the first thing she said
"what!!" i exclaimed
" yah, the coach said you should have come up for air, so they're not taking you"
"that makes no sense, did you see how fast i went? that's supposed to be a good thing, not bad!"
"well sorry but now you'll know for next time"

there wasn't going to be any next time i thought in my hea. plus who needed a school that couldn't appreciate my " no coming up for breath technique"


but, what if i would have made it.

party in the masjid...ok noo, not really!

" you wanna go pray maghrib with us?
"yea sure ok, lemme go dress. it'll take a moment"

notice my dad only said we were gonna go pray and nothing further. any normal person, (such as i) puts on anything and goes. which was exactly what i did. i had my pjs some yellow socks, with my purple flats and i was ready to roll! apparently my dad forgot to tell me we were also going to be attending a dinner!!!

last time i was here and went to that masjid to pray it was only my family, only mine. like we almost had to make my 4 year old sister imam, only us. so imagine my shock to find half the community there, and that my dears was their first impression of me. lovely.

seriously though thinking about it, i was fine standing infront of God and praying in my not so best but i cared more about what people thought? in my defense though: God doesn't judge me according to what i wear, so HAH!

yahh, jokes still on me.

Why yes. I am pretty genius thank you very much!

My life is consumed by a vile thing which i call...schoolwork. thinking high school is tough? well you have seen nothing yet, your life is yet to be consumed and your soul sold to the devil. It all makes sense really, umm in a weird, twisted way!

so the other day i happened to be flying in a plane because that's just how i roll, you know the usual! and i was checking my email on the plane thousands of feet above the ground and it dawned on me how awesomely amazing that is. words of praise for my creator came out of my mouth. Who would have thought that it would be possible to be flying above the clouds, sending out emails and drinking sprite, all at the same time. I would have told you you were crazy! looking out the window, buildings looked like specks of light floating in the air and i was that much closer to the stars and the heavens. i know it makes no sense to believe that i was that much closer to God, and therefore my prayers would be heard better but seriously who in all that amazement could pass such an opportunity to be thankful for all they've lived and seen. words often fall short of describing emotion even though that was why words were created to begin with.

Now if i may be excused, I've got some Hobbes to catch up with. For reals i think that guy was genius but i also think I'm genius, so who am i to judge.





I swear i meant the other Hobbes, the dude who wrote Leviathan. but they're pretty genius too.

Nightmarish remembrences

that's a picture of my school, or part of it at least.

I would lay on the lower bunk, my small feet high in the air barely touching the bars of the bed above. The amount of bars my feet would reach would be the amount of years i'de live in the US i told myself. I had just moved back from living in Virginia to living in Egypt and the culture shock, the school system, plus everything else was just too overwhelming for me. On my first day of school the teacher bust a ruler on my hand because my Arabic writing wasn't good enough, if that was just the first day how were the rest of my days going to be like. It would only be later that i would prefect being rebellious and refusing to open my hands to receive the stick but maintain an angelic face as well. It was a world of eat or be eaten. Elementary school drama that ruined your school career, and not to mention the connections you had to have in order to survive. Our neighbor, Mr. Ahmad worked in my school as a teacher and i can't say how much i took advantage of that. He became known as my uncle in the school and he never objected. whenever it was that any of my friends or I were going to get in trouble for being late to class, skipping class or any other thing involving getting into trouble, i would smile at them confidently and we would head to the teachers lounge for one of "3amo Ahmad's" notes.

An Illusion of sorts

I'm taking an Arabic course and the first thing we talk about in the class, why Arabs aren't united. we talk, debate, and examine. As if it is us that will solve the problem of Arab unity and organize the people into something more humane. Then it moves onto love, the taboo of all taboos. A point is made, one that i wholeheartedly believe in, but could never find the right words for. Some Arab men claim Modernity or Arab people in generel, we'll claim modernity but it's only a face. we'll have the new cars but no no traffic or sense of traffic organization whatsoever. we try immitating the west, it's now modernity to have the bars, and clubs but we lack the basic repsect for each other and our women. We refuse to give our women equel rights and look at them as second class citizens,despite Their God endowed rights. This is the facade of modernity, the illusion that many live in.

childhood memories

It is those days spent in summer as a kid selling lemonade on the sidewalk, splashing in the sprinklers and riding bikes with friends that make you miss those long gone summers. sometimes it's even the smaller things that you didn't pay any attention to that suddenly remind you of how much you miss being a kid.
The other day for example, i was laying in bed waiting for sleep to kick in when i heard my dads footsteps along the hall going into my younger siblings room and covering them up. when i was younger i would pretend to be asleep and wait for my dad to come make sure my blanket was covering me and then give me a kiss on the forehead. I thought that was the sweetest thing a father could do, it was the ultimate show of parental love. I'm not sure when my dad stopped tucking me in but i guess i grew too old for such a thing and its those little things that remind of my childhood sometimes and make me miss it.

Where are we? ohh and we're out of gas!!

Groggily i woke up and asked " Are we there yet?"
my mom had a worried look on her face and i could see her mouth moving with prayers.

"what? whats wrong?" i said fully awake now

"We ran out of gas, and all the gas stations we're passing are closed" she said
"AGAIN?" i exclaimed

If you remember, this happened to us before when my mom stopped in this small freaky town that reminded me of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. It seemed like we were always running out of gas.

So there we were, in the middle of the night and in the middle of nowhere, with a flashing gas light,surrounded by trees, no other cars in sight and as it turns out, none of our phones had signal.

The GPS told us that the next gas station was 6 miles down. The car didn't seem like it was gonna go that far but we decided to take the risk anyway.

While my mom was freaking out and telling us "ed3o ed3o" I was thinking how really this is beautiful. think of it. the middle of nowhere and God wanted to hear our voices in prayer. ahh it really did put me in awe

well of course right when we got out of our little mishap, it was labeled an "adventure" instead :P

New year, new resolutions!!

Salams and peace ya'll.
can't believe it's been a year since i've started this blog. I can't remember the exact reason of why i started this blog but i think one was for it to serve as an outlet for myself. a place where i can post whatever and whenever. Although i haven't been keeping up with it as much as i should and i can't promise that i will either. it has helped me and i've met some amazing and talented bloggers through it. so can't say i'm not happy. speaking of which, does anyone do the new year resolutions thing? personally, new years is a time for me to be all depressed about the year that passed and me wasting it and not doing anything of much importance. I don't even remember any of my last year resolutions but i know somewhere i have a paper laying with 50 goals that i want to achieve before i turn 25. let's just say i only got one of them achieved, i started praying my sunnah prayers. so i guess that's not all that bad.

During this last year
i've launched my business
I finally got my long overdue car license
i've memorized 2 surahs, which isn't much considering i had a whole year!
i finished my first year of university...
yay for procrastination.

by this time next year

I hope to have written a book or the rough draft of it at least
preformed some spoken word poetry
memorized 5 surahs

...i can hope hey! don't judge
my new years started 15 days ago. Have a blessed year ya'll